I was adopted at the age of three weeks old. When my adoptive parents brought me home they probably thought that this was going to be the perfect baby girl who would complete their family. However, from the earliest time that I can remember I always felt like something was not exactly right. I was a very talkative child, and I think society sometimes bestows a more positive connotation on outgoing children, in contrast to shy children. So I started life out on a high note. I remember adults telling my parents that I was a "very bright child." However, I never could quite figure out why they were saying this. I did feel different — but certainly not bright. At the age of two or three my parents purchased picture flashcards with common objects like dog, tree, house, flower — they wanted me to understand how to recognize that the letters had different sounds. This did not make a lot of sense to me, so I just memorized the shapes of the letters and the corresponding pictures. All of the adults thought that I could "read" the names of the pictures and everyone thought that this was great. Again, I couldn't figure out why this was so great. I thought to myself that this was certainly not what reading must be about.
| Porsha Buck's story follows her struggles with dyslexia and her goal from an early age to become a doctor. Porsha was the 2007 Runner-Up for the Anne Ford Scholarship and a great example of a learning disabled student who accepts challenges with the confidence she can always overcome them. |
My frustrations with the educational system and lack of understanding have continued throughout my thirteen years of public schooling. Teachers, counselors, and other officials have constantly told me that I should try harder, concentrate more, not make stupid mistakes, check my work, listen better, and most discouraging of all -- that "if you have modifications or accommodations, that would not be fair to the rest of the children." The most recent example of this includes my request for extended time accommodations on the ACT test. Although complete documentation and testing was presented that indicated dyslexia as a diagnosis, along with information that showed I made a 32 on the Reading portion of ACT Web site practice test when untimed and a 20 on the Reading portion of the test when timed, my request was still denied.
As you might guess, my Reading and Writing scores on the ACT that I recently took, under standard time conditions, were not indicative of my true reading and writing ability. It did show that it takes me longer to read and write than students without dyslexia — however, I am pretty sure I already knew this — and I have adjusted my schedule to allow for this factor in all other phases of my life.
In retrospect, I now realize that I have watched and learned throughout these past thirteen years, by watching my mother advocate on my behalf. I have learned that you "win" some of these battles. I have learned the little things that must be done to continue to move upward and achieve my educational goals. In fact, the analogy of "winning some of the battles even if we do not win the war" may be a good description of how my educational experiences could be summed up. And in reality, maybe winning the key battles is enough — and maybe winning the war is not what is actually necessary when it comes to advocating for myself in relation to my different learning style.
By the way, I do know that my biological father quit school at the age of seventeen, due to what were described as "reading difficulties" that plagued him throughout his public school education. In fact, he quit school to take a job reading layouts and drafting plans for an HVAC company — due to the fact that reading words was difficult — but deciphering shapes was easy. I think I know how he must have felt.
I am extremely committed to completing my bachelor's degree and continuing my education toward a professional degree as a physician. At the age of two, I was diagnosed with severe asthma and was in and out of numerous hospitals and medical centers. However, my pediatrician, Dr. Jane Wilson, was a person that I will never forget. She was quiet, unassuming in appearance, professional, and empathetic. It was at the age of about three or four that I decided I wanted to become a physician, just like Dr. Wilson. I have never wavered from this goal. In fact, I have spent my life up to this point on a pathway to this goal. This path has included job-shadowing experiences in the offices of Johnson Family Chiropractic & Scoliosis Center, Allergy Associates of Brazos Valley, Dr. Ricardo Procuruall (Rheometry Arthritis Specialist), Dr. Stuart Yoffe (Allergy and Immunology Specialist), and the College Station Medical Center Emergency Room.
Additionally, I have acquired numerous medically related certifications and licensures as per age restrictions which include: Junior Lifeguard, Certified Nursing Assistant, Water Safety Instructor, Fundamentals of Instructor Training, American Red Cross Lifeguard Training and First Aid, American Red Cross Blood Borne Pathogen Training: Preventing Disease Transmission, Instructor CPR, Healthcare Provider CPR & First Aid, and Heartsaver Facts: AED, CPR & First Aid.
Perseverance is a trait that I think I certainly possess. As stated earlier, I was diagnosed with severe asthma at the age of two. My adoptive parents divorced when I was five. Then, a dyslexia diagnosis at the age of seven. At the age of thirteen, I had a congenital birthmark removed from my face to make sure that it was not cancerous. Later that same year, I endured the tragic death of my father. Yet, I have journeyed on — relying on my faith and determination. In my opinion, there were no other options — I have a plan for my life and I will continue down this path toward my goals.
With the many trials and tribulations in the first seventeen years of my life, including my learning disability, it may have been easier to withdraw and become a type of recluse. However, I have always been an outgoing person who loves social interaction. So, although there have been times that I have been ridiculed for my differences, I have taken this in stride and I think I have developed an even stronger empathetic personality. Through these events, I actually think I can understand and feel the pain of people from a variety of backgrounds. Why? Because I have walked in their shoes.
I feel that I possess a well-rounded life perspective and have sharpened this outlook by taking active roles in school and community activities including: Varsity Choir, National Honor Society, Health Occupation Students of America, A&M United Methodist Church Youth Group, and mission trips (as a United Way and Red Cross volunteer, and through recreational and Varsity swim teams).
When I encounter people through these groups that are, for example: of a different ethnic group (I am an American Indian), have a limiting medical condition (like asthma), have a physical abnormality (like my birthmark), have a learning disability (like dyslexia), have lived through a family event (like divorce) or have endured the tragedy of a loved one's death (like my father) — I know I can relate. I've been told that many people live a lifetime without encountering the numerous "life changing" events that I have experienced. However, I don't view these as negative events. Instead, I think these are learning situations that have been placed in my life to enable me to become a more understanding and empathetic person and ultimately a great physician.
Dyslexia has affected my life in numerous ways. In fact, when I was younger I thought I was cursed and wished that I could have been born without this "so-called" disability that you can't see and you can't touch. I felt like a person with a broken leg was "luckier" than I was because society had empathy for their condition — a condition that they could view with their own eyes. However, what I have since discovered through my own journey is that the subject of learning disabilities, like dyslexia, must have "the light shined on them" to illuminate the truth about learning differences. In fact, as it is with all discrimination, education is key. People have discriminatory tendencies toward other people and subjects that they don't understand — so education is a major component in the solution.
When the schools offered no solutions, my mother enrolled me with a private language therapist where I learned to spell words in set groups with consistent rules and similar prefixes or suffixes, and I soon learned to read by using these same rules to figure out new words. I remember thinking that my specialist, Ms. DeGraffenreid, was one of the smartest people around; she allowed previously fuzzy areas to become clear and even make sense. One funny story that I remember from this time period was when Ms. Wanda told me she had been trained by the Neuhaus — I thought she said "White House" — so I thought I really had a special teacher if she had been trained by the President of the United States. I now know that this was just one of those times that a dyslexic person can look back and laugh at themselves — and see humor in the jumbling and juxtaposition of letters and words.
Additionally, I learned how to organize my study habits, use highlighters, planners, and audio books. Granted, if you ask my mother she'll say she still doesn't understand my organizational methods or think that I have any, but I guess that's why they call them "learning differences."
My mother first read me a story from Dr. Barbara Guyer's book The Pretenders when I was in first grade. The book contains a series of stories about people with learning differences who go on to have successful lives. I have read the chapter with the story of Eric many times since that original time when I was in first grade. The story is about a young man who is dyslexic, who everyone says will never become anything, much less a doctor and goes on to become a well-known plastic surgeon. The educational turmoil and rejection that he faces are mirror images of many of the situations that I have lived through.
Near the end of his story, a doctor tells Eric that he was picked for his residency program as one of six students out of 1200 because, as he said, "We learned that straight ‘A' students don't always make the best physicians. On the other hand, you had a problem, and it must have been very painful to have a few professors say you were dishonest when you asked for exceptions in testing. I know that some professors said you would never make it, but you didn't quit. You're persistent, Eric. And that's why we selected you. You're a survivor." I couldn't have said it better!
Oh, how I only hope that I can someday have as insightful a physician who looks at my application for residency as Eric had.
Self-advocacy is a core component for any person with a learning disability. I have learned from watching my mother that education is the key. I must always work to help others understand my learning differences and to understand that accommodations and/or modifications do not give me a leg up on the competition - they simply level the playing field. In fact, I would like to take self-advocacy to the next level — by educating our future teachers, school administrators, and others involved in the education process as to why all students with learning differences should be allowed modifications. Again, all discrimination is easy if ignorance is your knowledge base. It is harder to deny a student appropriate modifications if you are well informed on the subject matter of learning disabilities.
I think I can contribute to society and increase the opportunities for individuals with learning disabilities by completing my education, becoming a physician, and then acting as an advocate or spokesperson for this segment of our population. Lecturing classes within the educational departments of colleges, maybe someday writing a book about my experiences as a dyslexic member of society, and displaying an empathetic and understanding personality, — as only a person that has "walked in these moccasins" can — will definitely increase the understanding of and thereby the opportunities for all individuals with learning disabilities. And, doing this as a medical professional, someday, will carry an increased level of credibility for those that are initially uninformed.