Tales of Stress and AD/HD: High School

Clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Jerome Schultz is the author of Nowhere to Hide: Why Kids with ADHD and LD Hate School and What We Can Do About It and is an expert on stress, learning disabilities, and AD/HD. In the following three scenarios, he takes you inside the brains of a parent of a teen, a high school student, and a high school teacher as they attempt to cope with AD/HD- and stress-related challenges. At the end of each scenario, he offers his expert take on the situation and follows up with tangible (and at times out-of-the-box) tips that parents and teachers can apply.

Read an excerpt from Dr. Schultz’s book on LD.org.

Stories of Stress and AD/HD in High School

Scenario #1: The Student (below)
Scenario #2: The Parent
Scenario #3: The Teacher

 

Scenario #1: The Student

Devon, 16: I tell my parents I study a lot. I tell them I'm all caught up with my work. Neither is true. I may spend a lot of time in front of my books, but I'm attracted to everything else around me. I'm emailing, sending text messages to my girlfriend, and cruising the internet. I’m pulled in by just about anything interesting, fast, flashy, and loud—and all I have to do is hit the enter key to find more of it. Having to read a chapter in my history book or write an essay about my take on a poem written by some ancient guy who’s impossible to understand can’t compete with all the other stuff that gives me instant satisfaction. I don't feel good about lying to my folks. I'm really a good kid, but I know they have high hopes for me, and I don't want to look stupid in their eyes. Lying is my camouflage. It's my way of trying to make my AD/HD go away. But it always catches up with me in the end.

My take on this: Devon is a kid whose intelligence and talents are buried in the fog of his AD/HD. He finds it nearly impossible to escape the sticky web of sights, sounds, and content of the electronic universe that surrounds him. They have a gravitational pull on him, like magnets carrying him away from activities that are, in contrast, boring and dull.

Devon is competent, and he cares about what his parents and others think of him. He sees no way out of the dilemma that is his distractibility (or "attract-ability"). He deals with it by lying; lying hides the problem, puts the shame at bay, and helps him maintain his image of the “good kid.” The result? He's using up his psychological energy to save face—energy that could be better spent doing the tasks that challenge him.

My advice: First of all, let’s address Devon’s guilty feelings. Getting a better handle on time management can help this thoughtful young man be more upfront with his folks. Parents should take part in his plan, too, so they can share in his accomplishment.

In order for Devon to make better use of his time, his parents could encourage him to create a “no-screen zone,” or a space where he totally shuts down his electronic universe for one or two hours a night—preferably a computer-free room. This is similar to the advice I’d give someone who finds it hard to resist drugs or alcohol—don’t hang out with users or dealers, and just say no to keg parties! He might not be addicted to technology, but he’s awfully close. Devon might have to start with 15-minute blocks and then increase the time off-screen. He can also use a timer to mark the passage of time. Remember, however, to use a kitchen timer and not, for instance, a cell-phone timer—that would make it too tempting to “just do a quick check” of email or slip away into Google Land. If he needs to use assistive technology, like a text reader, use "restricted" technology—software that’s loaded on a device (like a Kindle or e-reader) and has no internet connection.

Here’s another strategy Devon’s parents can encourage him to attempt. Before Devon starts on an assignment, he should use a 1-to-5 scale to predict the difficulty level of a homework assignment. He can put this number (e.g., 5 = “wicked hard”) on the corner of his paper, along with how long he thinks the assignment will take. When he’s done, he should do a reality check of these numbers to see if he’s been realistic. This mindful approach to time management can lead to better planning and hopefully keep him from running out of time in the future.

Another idea: If that "GF" (aka, girlfriend) he’s texting really loves him, she might be brought in as a partner by promising not to text Devon between 7pm and 8pm, rewarding him with non-stop texting from 8pm to 8:15pm, and then sending him back to work. If the girlfriend strategy puts too much strain on a budding relationship, then Devon or his parents might consider hiring a “brain coach.” Athletes know how valuable a coach or trainer is in helping them achieve their “personal best." For some students, this reality makes the idea of a homework coach acceptable and sensible.

Bonus Tip! Some adults with AD/HD have difficulty maintaining emotionally health relationships with significant others. Working jointly on a task with Devon’s girlfriend may be a good rehearsal for future relationships (with this girl or another lucky lady later in life) that are made more solid by a better understanding about his AD/HD, how it gets in the way, and how both members of a couple can work as a team in a way that pulls them closer together—and not farther apart by the AD/HD.

For more info, check out these 10 helpful AD/HD resources and information on how to treat AD/HD.

Continue to the next page for Scenario #2: The Parent.