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Repetition, repetition, repetition.
Consistency is key for children with AD/HD. They need to know boundaries and expected behaviors which may need to be revisited regularly. As parents, modeling these behaviors as well as enforcing them is a powerful combination. Consider having a few hard rules and let “smaller” things slide, which will help your child remember the important things. Be sure to state the behavior you want so your child understands what to do. Setting up a regular home routine for weekdays and weekends also helps.Compromise on homework how-tos.
Homework is a particularly challenging time for many families with children who have AD/HD. Initially, we wanted Laurie to finish her homework immediately after school. However, she shared that it was defeating and discouraging to have to bring herself to concentrate again after doing it for a number of hours already. We all agreed that she needed some time to relax before tackling homework. We established a standard time for homework to begin and allowed her to listen to music while she completed it, which she couldn’t do in school. Find a routine that works for you and your child. Depending on their abilities, you can schedule short breaks every 15 minutes and/or create rewards for completing homework in a certain amount of time.Make time for fun.
Having time to be themselves, play and have fun is an essential element of your child’s emotional well-being. Creating time for you and your child to bond over positive experiences is an important balance to the interactions over challenging ones. Set aside time each day to connect with your child in a neutral and positive environment free of judgment, advice, or criticism. Acknowledge and comment on the beautiful non-academic talents and traits they are developing.Help them find their strengths.
It is important to remember that school is only a part of your child’s life. Very often it is the challenges that are discussed most frequently. Even if your student isn’t thriving in school, he or she undoubtedly has talents in other areas. Help them explore and identify areas where they can excel and feel accomplishment.Shift the recognition paradigm.
Children with AD/HD have a strong need for praise and recognition. They already know they are not like “other” kids. When parents only comment on bad behaviors, grades and performances, it can become defeating. Praise the good work your child does regularly, if not daily. Or determine to say five nice things for every one criticism.Be patient and flexible.
Though Laurie is now an adult, I still shake my head at the sheer number of times we had to repeat something or had to adjust a particular plan when she was younger. I am still surprised how often she forgot an agreement we made, to write down her homework assignments, or to watch the clock and be home at a certain time. Understanding that this was a part of her brain activity helped some, but the frustration can build. I learned to practice patience in working with her and flexibility in our plans to help ease the situations when this occurred.Cathy Chlarson grew up in a large family in rural Arizona. After attending college, she moved to San Francisco where she lived for 15 years before returning to the Phoenix metro area to raise her own family.




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