Struggling Students, LD Evaluation, and Response to Intervention (RTI)
My school plans to use something called “response to intervention” with my 1st grader. Why won’t they just test him for a learning disability? I want her to get help ASAP!You’re lucky the school follows the Response to Intervention (RTI) approach! Jumping from “struggle” to “testing” is not the best way to make sure your child will get the help he needs. RTI is a methodical system of delivering high-quality instruction to all students and making adjustments for those who struggle based on student data.
Essential RTI features:
- High-Quality Instruction – makes sure all students receive high-quality, research-based instruction in the general education classroom
- Tiered Instruction/Intervention – provides students with increasingly intensive, multi-tiered instruction and intervention matched to their individual needs
- Ongoing Student Assessment – uses repeated screening and progress monitoring measures to identify students at risk of falling behind and evaluating the impact of instructional changes
- Family Involvement – collaborating with parents to provide the best learning opportunities in school, at home, and in community settings
Your child’s struggles in school may not be due to a learning disability and the RTI approach may help your child get on track If your child does have a learning disability, information gathered during the RTI process will be enormously helpful. Our article, RTI and the Special Education Evaluation and Eligibility Process, will give you more detailed information about the process.
When the school conducted an evaluation, what did they discover as part of that testing and what do they plan to do about it? The underlying message is not necessarily whether your son qualifies for special education services, but rather, what is the school prepared to do to ensure that he has a successful school experience? Will they meet with teachers on a regular basis to review class content and teach him strategies for studying for exams? Will they provide edits to draft papers and offer opportunities so that he can resubmit work before they assign it a final grade? These are examples of actions that the school can implement with or without special education classification. That said, if you and school personnel are not able to negotiate these types of accommodations and supports on an informal basis, you can (and should) request (in writing) a formal committee meeting at which time a discussion should take place about the benefits of an independent evaluation for your son. (Note: In most cases, parents must bear the burden of this expense, so working with school personnel to pinpoint strategies to address your child’s needs is always the best approach.)
If your child’s school is implementing an RTI program, it means that they will make an effort to understand what has been working for your son in terms of instruction in the general curriculum and what, if any, changes might be implemented to enhance his progress. If “what’s not right” ends up to have something to do with classroom instruction, then the RTI approach will help to remedy it. If, however, your son continues to experience challenges, even when tier one (whole class), tier two (small group or more targeted) and tier three (more individualized) types of instruction and intervention are offered, the “proof” of your son qualifying for special education support services will be ready and waiting!
Yes, your daughter could be struggling because she has dyslexia. There also could other reasons that she having trouble with reading. And, she might just be most comfortable reading at a slow pace. As a student progresses through the grades, the amount of reading they need to accomplish increases dramatically, especially for students who focus more on English and Social Studies and less on subjects like Math and Science (where the demands for speed and accuracy of reading narrative text are somewhat reduced). Junior high school comes with all sorts of academic and social challenges, and being a slow and labored reader can add a level of frustration. An evaluation to determine whether your daughter has a learning disability is certainly an option, but I would suggest a number of other steps first:
- Sit with your daughter and ask what specific aspects of reading present the greatest challenges. If all she needs is more time for reading, have her ask teachers for assigned reading lists in advance of their due dates and help her schedule protected homework time so she is not overburdened with too much reading all at once.
- Investigate assistive technology. Tools like optical scanning software (e.g., Kurzweil 3000) are available to convert print into speech. This is a great option for some students who enjoy (and can benefit from) listening (and maybe following along and taking notes) rather than having to read pages of narrative themselves.
- An ever-growing library of printed material is available in digitized formats, meaning that they can be downloaded from the Web and listened to on a computer, MP4 player, mobile device apps, etc. One example of this option can be found at www.Bookshare.org.
If reading disabilities like dyslexia are the underlying problem, it could be very helpful to have your daughter work with a reading or learning disabilities specialist in school or privately during after school hours.
With regard to RTI at the junior and senior high school levels, there are growing numbers of middle and senior high school programs that are successfully using RTI approaches to address the needs of all students, including those who struggle with learning. Visit RTI Action Network.org to learn more about these programs, view video of RTI practices in action, and listen to online chats with principals, researcher professionals and practitioners.
If your son was having trouble breathing, you wouldn’t hesitate to find out whether he had asthma or some other medical condition, right? And if he was squinting while watching TV or reading and having trouble tracking a ball thrown at him, you wouldn’t be reluctant to have his eyes checked by a specialist, right? Using an inhaler or wearing glasses can carry a “stigma” the same way that struggling to read, write, and do math can impact how people perceive someone’s competence to achieve, compete, and excel at different school-related tasks. Think about “testing” as “finding out” and not as a way to label or brand your son. The LD label (if deemed appropriate after testing, careful discussion, and consensus between you and school personnel) is used solely to formally acknowledge the need to provide special types of services and supports for your son in school. Any stigma attached to the label will result from misinformation. In most cases, it can be minimized (or eliminated) by open and honest conversations about the things he does well, the areas in which he needs assistance, and a shared commitment to ensuring that he has plenty of opportunities to shine. And be sure to include your son in these conversations!
It’s not unusual for parents to have different perspectives on any number of things, including their children’s school work. But don’t allow your daughter and her struggles with learning to be a point of contention! It sounds like you both agree that she is underachieving in school, and that neither of you can put your finger on why or what to do about it.
The first step is to have a family pow-wow and talk about any known obstacles that might be contributing to your daughter’s lack of progress. A number of factors could be involved: a teacher who is frequently absent, a missing text book (that she is embarrassed to admit that got lost), a class that is moving too fast and for which she was not well prepared by last year’s teacher — all of these are the types of things that could, at least in part, explain your daughter’s struggle. If you suspect that she might have a learning disability, have a frank discussion about what that means, how you all feel about the possibility, and make a decision to discover whether it’s true without delay. And a word of advice: Don’t play the blame game! Instead, think about solutions.
If she indeed has LD, hard work alone will not be enough to turn things around. She will need to work “smarter, not just harder” even with the best help, and turning frustration into success will take time. Your husband’s active participation in the discovery process seems like a sure way to get your daughter the help she needs. It will be important to have him as a ready and willing partner if and when it’s time to approach school personnel and formally request assistance in determining whether a learning disability is at play.
Absolutely! Learning disabilities is the umbrella term used to capture many different types of specific disorders, such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and dyspraxia. While some people have problems in one or more specific areas of learning and performance, they may enjoy success and even excel in others. In fact, students with LD often demonstrate unusual abilities to “think outside the box,” and the products of their expression, be it artwork, poetry, music, or interpersonal skills, made possible by hard work and a determination of spirit, are no less remarkable and praiseworthy than those of their non-disabled peers. One look at the Hidden Thoughts of LD art gallery or a read through of the Anne Ford and Allegra Ford Scholarship winners’ essays website and your question will be answered without a shadow of a doubt.
It’s hard to comment about whether a disability of any sort is at play without knowing more specifics about your daughter’s math experience in the early grades. When you say that she was “okay” in math during her elementary school years, do you mean that she was quick to master skills like counting, solving math computations “automatically” (without counting each time she needed to add or subtract numbers), handling word problems, telling time, and working with (and doing conversions with) units of measurement?
If your daughter does have a learning disability in math — called “dyscalculia” — it’s not likely that it just appeared when she entered high school. She may have experienced gaps in math knowledge and procedures along the way and her more advanced classes are placing demands on her that presume she has the skills and understanding needed to succeed.
Why is she first struggling now? Perhaps she learned what she needed to do to pass her lower-level skill-focused exams but didn’t really have the “big picture” of how math works in order to do well in her now more advanced classes. Perhaps she is struggling with the increased demands of multi-step problems and is having trouble retrieving (or deciding how to select) and applying procedures that she has learned? Maybe she needs more opportunities to practice? Or, maybe there’s been insufficient teacher feedback? Are the tasks being presented in ways that aren’t as “real world” as those from earlier grades? Many factors could be involved. And, there is always the issue of how she feels about herself as a math learner and the impact it has on her willingness to seek clarification, spend extra time, and take risks. Thinking about the problem, taking a stab at working something through, challenging yourself to get it right, making corrections along the way — these are also important and often overlooked considerations that account for success in school.
For helpful information about math learning and math disabilities take a look at two articles titled Foundations for Success and Counting on Research: Math Learning Disabilities.
Child development is not a connect-the-dots kind of experience. During these early years, most children make their way down a series of paths (in areas such as early literacy, oral and receptive language, math, fine and gross motor, and attention) that converge when they are just about ready to head off to preschool. The skills that they have acquired have followed a more or less predictable course, and parents and teachers are optimistic about their continued and steady progress. And who hasn’t come across children who were:
- quiet at first, and then blossomed into an outspoken and self-assured preschooler;
- confident at first, then more cautious once surrounded by peers;
- early talkers and early readers, late talkers and late readers, and combinations of both;
- uninterested in motor activities and then skilled and confident athletes once they gained body strength and practice.
My point is that “readiness for kindergarten” means lots of different things, and knowing your child’s specific areas of interest, strength, and relative weakness across a number of key domains will help you answer your question. Our Pre-K to Grade 2 section offers a selection of easy-to-read information that could be helpful to you in knowing whether your son is “ready” for school. And be sure to take a look at our GetReadytoRead.org site. It’s has many resource for parents like you, including a free Transitioning to Kindergarten Toolkit and an Early Learning and Observation Rating Scale.
This is an important question to ask sooner rather than later! Each child “develops” at his or her own pace and it is difficult to predict which child will experience learning challenges once he or she enters school. Any “lag” in development is best addressed with specific criteria in mind. For example: What are the specific reading-related tasks that appear to be barriers to your son’s success? Can he recognize common (sight) words, sound out new words, blend letter sounds, and understand word meanings (with and without context cues)?
Your son’s teacher should be able to shed light on your concerns from screening data (the hallmark of an effective RTI program) that is readily available for the entire classroom (based on the reading curriculum) and based on efforts to address your son’ specific challenges in the area of reading.
Will the school test him for a learning disability in reading (also known as dyslexia)? Sure, and you can request (and do it in writing!) that an evaluation be conducted at any time. (See our Parents Guide to IDEA for an easy-to-understand breakdown of your rights and how to work in partnership with school personnel.) But don’t rush into testing! Sometimes a change in classroom instruction or a consultation with specialized staff at the school will be enough to set your son on a path to success.
Having a child repeat a grade is a very serious decision, with huge (and unfortunately, not always positive) consequences, so make sure you really understand the school’s reasons for this recommendation and how this action will improve your daughter’s school experience. Grade retention by itself does not guarantee anything other than the child being a year older and faced with the same or similar academic challenges as the year before. Research about grade retention is very clear that:
- Children who were retained before kindergarten were 66% more likely to receive negative feedback from teachers during their later school years, when compared to their non-retained peers.
- Studies have suggested that when students who were retained reach adolescence, they may experience some behavioral difficulties, perhaps stemming from their being older than their peers. In fact, students who are more than a year older than their classmates are more likely to drop out of high school than their age matched peers.
If the school is recommending that your daughter repeat a grade, their decision must be based on a very targeted plan to provide instruction and support for her that will both close the learning gap and address the emotional and behavioral consequences of being “left back.” Research about starting school late (being held back in kindergarten) tells us that the emotional baggage of having been retained, even at this early point in a child’s school career, lingers on. One study asked young students to rate a series of stressful events, and being left back ranked third, immediately following "going blind" and "losing a parent."
Thanks for your question. I wish you would have visited the LD.org site sooner to learn that an initial evaluation could have been requested at any time! That said, it is NOT (I repeat, NOT) too late for your daughter to receive the specialized types of instruction and support she needs (and to which she is entitled) to catch up with her peers and to succeed in school. Your job is to be an active partner with school personnel, making sure that the goals identified on her IEP are well-chosen, that she will receive the precise types of help that she needs in a targeted and timely fashion, and that frequent assessments of her progress are made to ensure that she makes steady progress.
Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who is so tuned in to her needs. Don’t stop asking questions of school personnel and make sure that everyone maintains high expectations for achievement.
Labels can be confusing — and not just for parents! Even in the world of LD professionals, there are different opinions on when a term like “dyslexia” should be used. What’s much more important than a specific label is being able to describe your child’s specific learning needs:
- What exactly does your child struggle with?
- Where does his understanding break down?
- In what areas does he need targeted, intensive instruction to be successful in school?
Work with your child’s teachers and other professionals to answer these questions. Whether services are provided through an IEP, a 504 plan, or another type of intervention strategy (for example, tiered services in an RTI framework) the outcome should be the same: the label (which could change over time) should result in decisions that lead to high-quality services and supports.
Preschool is an exciting time when kids make great learning leaps — some very visible, others not as much. While every child develops at his or her own pace, but there are some important “red flags” you can be aware of as you observe your child.
Most children exhibit one or more of these “at-risk” behaviors from time to time. However, if several of these behaviors persist over time, you should seek professional advice. Early intervention makes a big difference for struggling learners, so if you are concerned about your child, don’t hesitate to take action.
You should definitely take a look at the Early Learning Observation and Rating Scale, a free tool for parents and educators to gather and share information about preschool children with specific attention to characteristics that might be early signs of LD. You’ll find additional information and resources to help you with your child’s preschool journey at NCLD’s Get Ready to Read website.
Yes, your daughter could have dyslexia, but being a “slow reader” is not, by itself, reason to suspect a disability. In junior high the amount of required reading increases dramatically. If she’s a slow reader, this increase in volume will certainly add to her frustration. An evaluation for a learning disability is certainly an option, but consider these steps first:
- Ask your daughter what specific aspects of reading present the greatest challenges. If all she needs is more time for reading, have her ask teachers for assigned reading lists in advance of their due dates and help her schedule protected homework time so she is not overburdened with too much reading all at once.
- Investigate assistive technologies that could help her overcome her particular challenges. Tools like optical scanning software (e.g., Kurzweil 3000) are available to convert print into speech. This is a great option for some students who enjoy (and can benefit from) listening (and maybe following along and taking notes) rather than having to read many pages of narrative themselves.
- An ever-growing library of printed material is available in digitized formats, meaning that they can be downloaded from the web and listened to on a computer, MP4 player, mobile device, etc. Check out Bookshare and Learning Ally as options.
If a learning disability in reading (dyslexia) is the underlying problem, it could be very helpful to have your daughter work with a reading or learning disabilities specialist in school or privately during after school hours.
You don’t have to choose between RTI or testing — it could be both. If your child’s school is implementing an RTI program, it means that they will make an effort to understand what has been working for your son in terms of instruction in the general curriculum and what, if any, changes might be implemented to enhance his progress. If “what’s not right” ends up to have something to do with classroom instruction, then the RTI approach will help to remedy it. If, however, your son continues to experience challenges, even when tier one (whole class), tier two (small group or more targeted) and tier three (more individualized) types of instruction and intervention are offered, the “proof” of your son qualifying for special education support services will be ready and waiting! At that point, any additional “testing” can be done to determine eligibility for special education (or other) services, pinpoint the specific types of help he needs to succeed, and inform how best to monitor his ongoing progress.
Yes, effective and well-implemented RTI practices can help students of all ages, and no, don’t be worried — be diligent! There are growing numbers of middle and senior high school programs that are successfully using RTI approaches to address the needs of all students, including those who struggle with learning. Visit the RTI Action Network website to learn more about these programs, view videos of RTI practices in action, and listen to online chats with principals, researcher professionals and practitioners. You should also check out our Parent Guide to RTI for more on what to expect as your child enters a school that uses an RTI approach.
Parents have more choices than ever when it comes to picking a school for their child, and as the parent of a child with LD, you have additional factors and options to consider. Start out by making a list of the important features you want in a school. Consider factors related to academics and your child’s LD-related needs, school environment and culture, as well as practical matters like finances and transportation.
Use that list as you explore the school options available to you. If you are considering public schools, go online and search for individual school and district “report cards.” Also look for information about how a school monitors student progress, numbers of students with disabilities, teacher qualifications, and more. But don’t limit your quest for information to online research — it’s very important for you (and your daughter!) to visit a prospective school. For a worksheet of questions to ask and things to look for during a school visit, download our Visiting A School Worksheet: What to Ask, What to Look For.
It’s hard to comment about whether a disability of any sort is at play without knowing more specifics about your son’s math experience in the early grades. When you say that your son was “okay” in math during his elementary school years, do you mean that he was quick to master counting skills, was able to solve math computations “automatically” (without counting each time he needed to add or subtract numbers), had no problem with word problems, telling time, working with (and doing conversions with) units of measurement, etc.?
If indeed your son has dyscalculia, it did not just appear when he entered high school. He may have experienced gaps in math knowledge and procedures along the way and his more advanced classes are placing demands on him that presume his having the skills and understanding needed to succeed.
Why is he first struggling now? Many factors could be in play. Perhaps he learned what he needed to do to pass his lower-level skill-focused exams, but didn’t really have the “big picture” of how math works in order to do well in his now more advanced classes. Perhaps he is struggling with the increased demands of multi-step problems and is having trouble retrieving (or deciding how to select) and applying procedures that he has learned. Maybe he doesn’t have enough opportunities to practice skills or he’s not getting enough concrete feedback from his teacher. And, sometimes tasks presented in high school don’t seem to have the same “real world” applications as those from earlier grades. There’s also the issue of how he feels about himself as a math learner and the impact it has on his willingness to seek clarification, spend extra time, and take risks.
Your son’s employer will likely ask him questions about his LD. (it is unfortunate that so many people still misunderstand learning disabilities, and incorrectly associate them with other conditions like intellectual disorders or problems with vision or hearing. Your son will need to be prepared to dispel these myths. He may even wish to give his employer a simple fact sheet on LD, such as our article, “What are Learning Disabilities?”
For more information about math learning and math disabilities:
It’s normal to worry about your child’s future. You’ve watched her struggle through the years and it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to keep your daughter on a path to graduate high school. You also know that her LD won’t disappear when she’s handed her high school diploma.
But your exhaustion suggests that some adjustments might be in order. If she’s spending too many hours each night doing homework, suggest that she talk to her teachers and see whether they might be willing to scale back the volume of work without sacrificing the focused practice they want her to have. It’s also important that you not function as your daughter’s personal assistant. Look at her assignments and see if there are organizational strategies that she can learn and initiate without your help.
Perhaps most helpful might be finding assistive technology tools that will replace or augment the help you have been providing. She’s going to need these skills (and tools) once she graduates from high school and enters the next phase of her life. Whether she goes on for advanced schooling or technical training, enters the workforce, or decides on a combination of both, now is the time to get her on a path toward independence.
Here are some helpful resources:
Progress monitoring is extremely important. It helps to determine if the interventions being provided to your child are working. It also allows you and his teachers to determine much sooner whether your child is at risk for not meeting grade-level targets. And it allows teachers to more closely match instruction and support to your child’s needs, based on his response to the interventions.
If your child shows limited or slow progress, then the school must further explore what changes to the interventions must be made to ensure your child is making good progress. For example, the teacher might change the type of intervention (or method) being used, the amount of instructional time, the grouping arrangement (e.g., individual instruction versus small-group instruction), or some other aspect of teaching.
Progress monitoring also supports students with LD themselves: it can provide motivation to learn and encouragement to persevere because students can see their own progress. If you have concerns about your child’s progress, you may also want to consider the approach described in this article: A Parent’s Guide to Progress Monitoring at Home.
LD and Family
My husband and I are so focused on helping our son get through school – a big challenge given his LD – we seem to have given up on having fun together as a family. How can we help him be successful in school and still have time (and energy) for other activities?A wise mom knows how important it is to have “family“ time away from school work. My suggestion is that you, your husband, and your son have a heart-to-heart talk and brainstorm ways that you all can help each other enjoy special family time and still make sure that schoolwork stays on track.
Questions for you and your family to consider:
- If there was a weeknight family activity that you wanted to do (such as going to the movies, going bowling, volunteering at a community center, etc.), how could you reallocate time to allow for this to happen?
- How might you create “family time” inside the house? Might it mean “hands off” cell phones, allowing computers to lapse into “sleep” mode, and gathering at the kitchen table with a deck of cards, an arts and crafts project, or time spent around a common interest (e.g., family history or photo albums)?
- Are there some assistive technologies that could help your son be more independent with his work so you can have more “adult” time with your spouse? For example, if his rate of reading is slow, can he use text-to-speech software that will allow him to listen to narrative? If written expression is problematic, can he use voice-to-print software to create draft narratives?
- Teachers can help, especially when it comes to sensitive family needs. I’ll bet if your son asked each of his instructors for ways to decrease his workload for the purposes of preserving “family time,” he would be pleasantly surprised. (Students have told me that teachers have agreed to give them fewer math problems, that they could submit bullet points or an outline instead of a fully developed narrative, and that they were told which pages from a text were the most important to read before class.)
As hard as it is to keep up the energy and inertia, be assured that considering these questions now will have enormous benefit for your son once he graduates from high school and needs to negotiate (without the same intensity of support from his parents) the demands of college or the workplace.
Ah yes, the family. Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who can knock you off your stride! There you are, working hard to make sure your daughter gets the services and supports she needs in school, has help at home to stay organized and get assignments done, and has the encouragement she needs (and deserves) to feel good about herself despite daily challenges with learning. There’s a knock at the front door and you wonder when “the comment” will be made that will push your buttons, and make you sad, mad, or just feeling unraveled. What to do? In a word, be yourself! You know that your daughter’s problems are real, that a learning disability like dyslexia doesn’t happen just in school, and that learning disabilities are not cause for blame or shame.
Describe to these relatives (some of whom, by the way, might not be strangers to LD) how your daughter is making real progress. Share the kinds of struggles and successes she has with learning, and in a careful and supportive way, help them to understand her challenges first hand. For example, have them play a word game like Bananagrams or Scrabble with her so they can see how she struggles with letter and sounds. Play a card game and allow her to use a calculator to tally sums so they can see that she’s smart but needs accommodations to succeed (or in this case, compete). Sharing some resources about the basics of LD might also help, for example, Learning Disabilities Basics or Learning Disabilities: What They Are, and What They Are Not. Dr. Betty Osman, a psychologist specializing in children and adults with LD, has a number of easy-to-read books that address family issues. (For example, Learning Disabilities and ADHD: A Family Guide to Living and Learning Together.) Consider leaving one out on the coffee table in the living room when family comes to visit? Or, perhaps give them as a not-so-subtle holiday gift?
Learning disabilities are not things that only impact kids in the classroom and they can’t “leave” LD in their lockers at school. While we all understand that, it’s important that we say it out loud to ourselves, to our children, and to others with whom your child with LD comes into contact. The person who has LD usually gets most of our attention, but you are right to recognize the needs of others, for understanding, for appreciation, and for equally deserved attention.
Many years ago, Abraham Maslow, a psychologist, proposed a way to understand human behavior that focused on a “hierarchy of needs” -- a way to understand the range of human emotions. These are exactly the kinds of things that, if understood by parents and other adults, can help siblings cope with feelings of jealousy, embarrassment, anger, worry, and guilt. As siblings and family members of someone with LD, they’re likely to carry this personal "baggage." With Maslow’s model in mind, here are some examples of what your non-LD child might be thinking and saying (or feeling):
Physiology (having to do with comfort and the physical body)
- "How come he gets more hugs than I do? And for things like finishing homework!"
Safety (dealing with the need to be protected from harm)
- "Why can't he make his own sandwich? He just needs to be careful with the bread knife.”
Belongingness and love (feeling attachment to others)
- "I'm always doing things for her; when was the last time she did something for me?"
Esteem (having your thoughts and actions valued by others)
- "What about my report card? Pretty good, huh?"
Knowledge and understanding (seeking information)
- "Is she ever going to be able to do her work on her own?"
Aesthetic (deriving pleasure and triggering emotion)
- "I wish I knew how to really help him when he's feeling down on himself."
Self-actualization (having "peak experiences" that provide self-fulfillment)
- "I know we're very different, but we'll always be there to support each other."
Transcendence (connecting to something beyond yourself to help others)
- "I know how important it is to spend time with him and his friends; they really look up to me and know that I will treat them with respect (even though they can be annoying and immature at times)."
You might also enjoy the podcast, A Parent's Perspective — Multiple Children, Multiple Challenges, in which two parents talk about their strategies for balancing their children’s different needs.
Social/Emotional Impact of LD
My daughter is dyslexic and she also has trouble making and keeping friends. Is her LD affecting her social skills?My 7th grade son has LD and really low self-esteem. I don't know how to help him. I tell him he's a great guy, but that doesn't seem to make a difference. What else can I do?
Self-esteem is a huge deal for all students in the 7th grade! These pre-teens are hyper-aware of who's wearing what, who's talking to whom in the hallway, where kids sit in the lunchroom, what grades people get on quizzes, who likes what type of music, and on and on. Add in the worry about how a learning disability already makes them feel "different" and you have a self-esteem train wreck waiting to happen. Your son's feelings about himself didn't develop overnight, and repairing (or bolserting) his feelings of self-worth is a process that takes time and more than a little help.
Here are a few tips for how you might help your son:
- Recognize his specific areas of strength, competence, and need, and look for or create "teachable" moments so that you can model and reinforce positive skills.
- Teach social skills the same way you would academic skills: one step at a time, demonstrating and giving multiple examples, and offering practice and feedback (reinforcement and praise). Whenever possible, find opportunities for him to apply his newly learned skills and behaviors in different settings.
- Think about these different aspects of self-esteem that he might need to practice or just be more aware of:
- identifying feelings, his and others'
- social conversation, including the initiation of greetings, turn-taking, and asking for clarification
- awareness of non-verbal cues, such as gestures and body language
- being funny vs. acting funny, knowing when and when not to tell a joke, when to clown around and when to stop
- confidentiality and getting personal, such as what types of things to share and how to get someone's attention
- giving and accepting feedback, including the acceptance of praise without going overboard and offering criticism without being hurtful
- anticipating problems and problem solving, before, during, and after moments of stress
A last note: Whether in the home, at a job, or in the classroom, students are quick to compare their work with the performances of others, so try to minimize the sense of competition and focus instead on cooperative learning. Work with your son's teachers to create opportunities for shared learning and joint activities. This is a great way to build social and emotional connections and enhance self-esteem. Cooperative learning has also been proven to be an effective way to enhance student achievement.
Wise mom knows how important it is to have "family" time away from school work. My suggestion is that you, your husband, and your son have a heart-to-heart talk and brainstorm ways that you all can help each other enjoy special family time and still make sure that schoolwork stays on track.
Questions for you and your family to consider:
- If there was a weeknight family activity that you wanted to do (such as going to the movies, going bowling, volunteering at a community center, etc.), how could you reallocate time to allow for this to happen?
- How might you create "family time" inside the house? Might it mean "hands off" cell phones, allowing computers to lapse into "sleep" mode, and gathering at the kitchen table with a deck of cards, an arts and crafts project, or time spent around a common interest (e.g., family history or photo albums)?
- Are there some assistive technologies that could help your son be more independent with his work so you can have more "adult" time with your spouse? For example, if his rate of reading is slow, can he use text-to-speech software that will allow him to listen to narrative? If written expression is problematic, can he use voice-to-print software to create draft narratives?
- Teachers can help, especially when it comes to sensitive family needs. I'll bet if your son asked each of his instructors for ways to decrease his workload for the purposes of preserving "family time," he would be pleasantly surprised. (Students have told me that teachers have agreed to give them fewer math problems, that they could submit bullet points or an outline instead of a fully developed narrative, and that they were told which pages from a text were the most important to read before class.)
As hard as it is to keep up the energy and inertia, be assured that considering these questions now will have enormous benefit for your son once he graduates from high school and needs to negotiate (without the same intensity of support from his parents) the demands of college or the workplace.
Ah yes, the family. Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones who can knock you off your stride! There you are, working hard to make sure your daughter gets the services and supports she needs in school, has help at home to stay organized and get assignments done, and has the encouragement she needs (and deserves) to feel good about herself despite daily challenges with learning. There's a knock at the front door and you wonder when "the comment" will be made that will push your buttons, and make you sad, mad, or just feeling unraveled. What to do? In a word, be yourself! You know that your daughter's problems are real, that a learning disability like dyslexia doesn't happen just in school, and that learning disabilities are not cause for blame or shame.
Describe to these relatives (some of whom, by the way, might not be strangers to LD) how your daug
IEPs
Next week is my daughter's first IEP meeting and I'm terrified! How do I know she'll get what she needs?I'm going to drop the "ed" from the word "terrified" and adding the letter "c." It's really "terrific" that you're worrying out loud about whether your daughter will receive the services and supports she needs to be successful! Voicing your concerns is exactly what you need to be doing as you enter into a new kind of partnership with school personnel! Together, you'll identify the types of specialized instruction, accommodations, and if needed, modifications in curriculum that will enable your daughter to get back on track with her peers, and to maintain steady and ongoing progress. Think of the IEP meeting as an opportunity to do strategic planning with a team of people who are counting on you to help out at home and who will now assume a more formal responsibility to address her needs. It's really important that you ask questions, share impressions, and insist that clear and measurable goals, outcomes, and timelines be included on the IEP - it will go a long way in ensuring that your daughter will not "slip between the cracks."
Look through our IEP & 504 Plan section for more detailed information about IEPs. You'll especially want to review the chapter in our IDEA Parent Guide, Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) - Developing Your Child's Education Plan.
Good for you for taking a close look at how your son is doing in school, especially during times of transition. Going from one grade to the next can be difficult for students with LD, and middle school can be especially challenging! There are increasing expectations for achievement, the social/emotional turmoil that's often part of the early adolescent years, and the changing nature of how LD impacts students as they becomes more insightful about their personal journeys through school and the particular nature of their struggle. It's also good that you're wondering whether adjustments need to be made to the IEP. Here are some suggestions:
- Reach out to your son's teachers, share your concerns, and gather information about what might be causing this slow-down in his progress. Then share what you have learned with teachers and members of the IEP team.
- The school is required by law to review and revise (as needed) an IEP at least once each year. If you think the current version of your son's IEP isn't working, you have the right to call an IEP meeting. (Read more about your IEP rights, in Chapter 7 of our IDEA Parent Guide.)
- Talk to your son and encourage his participation in relevant discussions and planning. Seventh grade is the ideal time to begin to include students in planning conversations with school personnel. Your son will better understand his LD when he can listen to and then participate in problem-solving discussions about the resources and accommodations that he needs. This will help him to grow the self-advocacy skills he will need as a high school student and then later when he transitions to postsecondary settings such as college or the workplace.
Just like your daughter receives a report card to share information about her learning and behavioral progress, schools also get rated on their progress at meeting the needs of their students. Annual Yearly Progress (AYP) is a term that refers to how well a school is serving its students, including those with special learning needs.
If a school doesn't make its AYP goals, it doesn't mean parents should withdraw their children and look for other educational settings. There are many reasons a school might not meet AYP goals - reasons that are unlikely to impact the school's ability to serve your daughter. For example, schools with large numbers of students who are English language learners or schools that may have had a large turn-over of seasoned teachers may struggle to meet AYP goals during a particular year. Schools that don't meet AYP goals must design and implement school-wide improvement plans that are intended to get student achievement (as measured by a combination of state and local assessments) back on track. A school's implementation plan can actually be a good thing for students like your daughter whose special status is sure to be the focus of scrutiny as the school strives to satisfy its AYP goals.
A 504 plan is different from an IEP in that it does not fall under "special education". That said, your child DOES have legal protections under 504. For example:
- In Developing a Successful 504 Plan for K-12 Students, you can see that "...if, for some reason, you don’t believe a 504 Plan is sufficiently meeting your child’s needs, you can always decide to: revise the 504 Plan, add special education services (although rare, this is allowed under 504 law), re-evaluate for IDEA eligibility, hire outside educational support (e.g. tutor), seek professional advocacy support..."
- Another resource is Parents Rights in the Era of RTI- this might help you make decisions about next steps if the school is implementing RTI(also known as MTSS)
What the school CANNOT do is suspend your child, whose 504 plans are specific about the type of services and support she needs, because they don't have sufficient personnel or space for her. You might ask for guidance form your state or regional Parent Technical Information Center.
An excellent resource for this type of guidance is a text written by Allsopp, Kyger & Lovin titled Teaching mathematics Meaningfully: Solutions for Reaching Struggling Learners (Paul H. Brookes Pub. Co)- 2007.
Two other books to look at are:
- Number Sense and Number Nonsense: Understanding the Challenges of Learning Math (by Krasa & Skunkwiler), Brookes Pub Co. , 2009
- Understanding RTI in Mathematics (by Gersten & Newman-Gonchar). Brookes Pub. Co (2011)
Be as involved as possible! Because you know your child the best, you are a critical member of the IEP team. You play a central role in all stages of your child's educational process — assessment, identification, instruction, intervention, and progress monitoring.
- Don't be intimidated by the IEP team process. As the parent, you know your child better than anyone else!
- Be active and engaged.
- Assist with planning and problem solving.
- Be organized and have a system to help you keep track of your observations, teacher reports, assessment data, team discussions, recommendations, and evidence of progress. Ask for help setting up a system that works for you.
- Make sure you read the IEP thoroughly before you sign off on it. (And remember, you can always make changes to this plan.)
- Ask questions. You play a different role than the teacher, but one that is no less important. By helping to develop your child's IEP objectives, you will know what is being done in school to accelerate your child’s progress and can interact with your child at home in ways that extend and enhance the targeted support being provided in school.




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