My child is struggling 
Now that my child has 
NCLD: Which year has been the best so far?
CF: I liked my senior year [of high school], but I've also liked my freshman year in college so far. It's been rough and I've cried a couple of times, but it's really showed me how great it is to see your own growth. I mean, I really can see it.
Senior year at Churchill was a lot of big accomplishments too. I finished my Regents, I did my math Regents, and somehow I scored high on my biology Regents, even though I didn't study for the test very much. But I'll take it.
And I also won the Winston Churchill Award at my school. It was really exciting because I had no idea that I was going to win it. It was for the student who provided the best role model for the other kids. It was awarded at graduation and I didn't know I was going to be the one, and all of a sudden they announce my name and it’s like “Whooaaa!”
NCLD: What was it like growing up with your sister, Annie Rose? Were there conflicts between the two of you?
CF: There was the whole, “She's better with her coordination” thing. She could do dance classes if she wanted. I tried dance classes, and I tried to dance to [a certain song] and it was like I was going in the opposite direction again.
But we're best friends. We tell each other everything and I feel totally relaxed with her, because I know I'm not being judged or anything. That's really hard with people I don't know. And I think Annie's helped me with some of the social stuff too. I'm cautious, and I'm not the one who'll go jumping into the deep end of the pool and Annie is totally about jumping into the deep end of the pool.
NCLD: How has the transition to college been? What have been some of the difficulties?
CF: It's been one of the most difficult transitions I've ever had to [go through], but I'm pretty happy with myself and I'm making friends and gradually learning how to do the social thing. I don't get home very often because it's pretty far away, which is one of the reasons I chose this college -- so I'd have to learn to handle things on my own.
I've always had my parents for support and now that they're at a distance I really have to learn to handle things by myself. I was having a little bit of trouble with this one teacher, my art teacher, who didn't understand that a lot of the time things look jumbled up to me. And she didn't know I had a learning disability and I was trying to explain that I have dyslexia, and that things like measuring are hard for me.
And I wasn't explaining it very well and I don't think she understood me very well. So, I got really irritated and I went to the academic coordinator and told her I needed my psychological evaluation, which is usually confidential. And I showed it to the teacher, and she was like, “Whoa!” I think she finally got it and we developed an understanding. Things are a lot more relaxed now.
NCLD: Now that you're pretty much grown up, if you could say one thing to the Charlotte Farber of ten years ago, Charlotte at the age of nine or ten, what would it be?
CF: Don't worry, it's okay. You may not excel at some things, but you're going to excel at others. Yeah, you're going to need help with other things, but it's okay. Use the strengths that you have, work on the strengths that you don't have, get the help that you need. And try and find a mentor, someone who can help you along and help you pull yourself up, whether it's a parent or a teacher. And just remember that it's all going to take time and hard work.
If I had to say anything to a kid's parents about college, it's that they should let them try to get into the college they want to get into and support them. I was doing a talk at Churchill, about "Life after Churchill," and this woman came up to me and said, “My daughter wants to try and go to Emerson.” And I said, “Hey, support her on this.” And the woman said, “I don’t think it's going to work out.” So I said, “Don't worry. Just support her on this. You never know what someone is capable of doing.” I mean, I’m shocked every day that I can conquer a new thing. I often think, “Wow, I didn’t know I could do that.”
Even if she doesn't get in, there are other places. But at least give her a shot. It's really important for parents to work with their children.
It's really important never to forget the people who have helped you. I remember hearing a story once about a guy who was in the war and jumped out of airplanes. And after the war was over, he went and found the guy who packed his parachute and thanked him for doing such a wonderful job. And it's like that. Your LD dumps so much stuff on you that it's easy to forget to thank people, all your teachers and the people who supported you, the ones who did all those great deeds for you.
NCLD: What do you think that people will learn from reading your mom's book? What do you hope they’ll learn?
CF: There was a book I read not too long ago about gays and lesbians, and there was one part in it called “The Closet.” And the point is that we all have closets, things that we don't want to have revealed.
And maybe there are people out there who think someone like my mom is perfect, and this book shows that she's not perfect but she has the courage enough to open up her closet. And I'm afraid a lot of the time to reveal the real me, to open up my closet. And watching my mom write this book and reading what she's written about our lives has helped me [learn] a lot about how to open up.
