Writing "Laughing Allegra" — An Interview with Anne Ford - Page 2

How did you discover that Allegra had a problem, and how did that affect you?

In preschool her teacher told me Allegra wasn't progressing as the other children, and suggested that I contact a specialist to see what the problem was. As I describe in the book, I went to specialists and doctors, but 25 years ago the information about LD was not as readily available. Finally, a leading New York pediatrician told me that I should just institutionalize Allegra, that she would never be able to live independently. Looking back, I realize how his comment and indifference to my reaction pushed me towards finding the answers that would work for Allegra. In a strange way, I owe Allegra's successes and my involvement with the LD community to that painful moment.

What are Allegra's feelings about the book?

In telling Allegra's story, I wanted her to be involved in the entire book. At first she was reluctant to have her life revealed in this way. But as we talked, she began to understand how her story could help other children with LD and their parents. Now, she's thrilled that the book is being so well received and that her story is helping to make a difference in so many other lives.

For you personally, what was the hardest thing for you regarding Allegra and her learning disability?

That my daughter was different was very difficult to accept. She would always have a harder time doing things compared to other children. And there were no roadmaps for me. Each step of her development — nursery school, primary school, high school, and beyond — was beginning all over again. Getting the right schools, talking to the teachers, and working with Allegra each time was a constant struggle. I often felt completely isolated. Here in the book is where I talk about the range of emotions that this stress causes. And I also tell parents it's okay to feel the rage, the resentment, the guilt, and the grief. It's all part of the experience.

In your opinion, what does our society need to know about LD?

Society needs to understand that children with LD process information differently. They are not lazy or stupid. In fact, they often try harder than other children, but just don't have the same results. While knowledge about LD has increased over the last two decades, society still doesn't fully appreciate LD and its effects. There is still work to be done, especially in the schools where a child's problems are addressed best when identified early and treated with appropriate supportive services. Children with LD can work to their potential. They just need different approaches to grasp certain concepts.

What effect did Allegra's LD have on your immediate family, and what advice would you give other families in coping?

Allegra's brother Alessandro wrote years later in an NCLD publication how he felt about living with a sibling who needed extra attention. I never knew how he felt until then about his upbringing compared to Allegra's. Looking back, I should have sat down and told him early on what was going on with Allegra so he could be part of the process. I also would have known his feelings and what he was going through. This is especially important because siblings will most likely bear more responsibility for their brother or sister as their parents get older. A learning disability happens to the whole family. That's easy to forget when a child has problems that require a parent's full involvement.