Anne Ford is the Chairperson Emerita at the National Center for Learning Disabilities. Ms. Ford's book, Laughing Allegra: The Inspiring Story of a Mother's Struggle and Triumph Raising a Daughter with Learning Disabilities, was released in 2003; in this interview, she talks about her reasons for writing this candid book about life with her daughter Allegra, who struggles with learning disabilities. Anne, can you tell us why you decided to write Laughing Allegra?
I wrote the book for other parents as a story of hope and success. When I first joined NCLD twenty years ago, I wanted to become involved in its outreach to parents, so I answered the phones and responded to the mail. What I realized was that parents have an enormous need for information, insight, and guidance about learning disabilities and their consequences.I also admit in my book to making many mistakes, largely because the information was not out there the way it is today. I wanted to share my mistakes with parents, so they could learn by them, and to express the fact that for each of us the journey is difficult. It is by sharing our common experiences that we can help each other and our children have a better future.
Can you tell us a little about why you choose Laughing Allegra as the title?
The late Cardinal O'Connor at my mother's wake in New York City was introduced to Allegra. He noted her name and remarked upon Longfellow's poem, "The Children's Hour," which referred to a character of the same name as "laughing Allegra." I had chosen her name because it means "happy" in Italian, and the Cardinal's comment seemed to convey what I believe is reflective of Allegra's personality, and what I have always cherished about her exuberance towards life.Please tell us, what was the hardest part about writing this book?
It was hard to recall the painful and difficult moments. When writing brought back such powerful feelings, I would look down and draw pictures just to distract myself from feeling so sad again. The memories are so fresh, even years later. People have commented on my memory for detail. That's because the emotions are so close to the surface, even now. The other part of this experience that caused my emotions to well up was writing about the future. The hardest section to write was the one on what will happen to Allegra when I'm gone. It's hard to imagine someone loving her in the same way that I do.How did you discover that Allegra had a problem, and how did that affect you?
In preschool her teacher told me Allegra wasn't progressing as the other children, and suggested that I contact a specialist to see what the problem was. As I describe in the book, I went to specialists and doctors, but 25 years ago the information about LD was not as readily available. Finally, a leading New York pediatrician told me that I should just institutionalize Allegra, that she would never be able to live independently. Looking back, I realize how his comment and indifference to my reaction pushed me towards finding the answers that would work for Allegra. In a strange way, I owe Allegra's successes and my involvement with the LD community to that painful moment.What are Allegra's feelings about the book?
In telling Allegra's story, I wanted her to be involved in the entire book. At first she was reluctant to have her life revealed in this way. But as we talked, she began to understand how her story could help other children with LD and their parents. Now, she's thrilled that the book is being so well received and that her story is helping to make a difference in so many other lives.For you personally, what was the hardest thing for you regarding Allegra and her learning disability?
That my daughter was different was very difficult to accept. She would always have a harder time doing things compared to other children. And there were no roadmaps for me. Each step of her development — nursery school, primary school, high school, and beyond — was beginning all over again. Getting the right schools, talking to the teachers, and working with Allegra each time was a constant struggle. I often felt completely isolated. Here in the book is where I talk about the range of emotions that this stress causes. And I also tell parents it's okay to feel the rage, the resentment, the guilt, and the grief. It's all part of the experience.In your opinion, what does our society need to know about LD?
Society needs to understand that children with LD process information differently. They are not lazy or stupid. In fact, they often try harder than other children, but just don't have the same results. While knowledge about LD has increased over the last two decades, society still doesn't fully appreciate LD and its effects. There is still work to be done, especially in the schools where a child's problems are addressed best when identified early and treated with appropriate supportive services. Children with LD can work to their potential. They just need different approaches to grasp certain concepts.What effect did Allegra's LD have on your immediate family, and what advice would you give other families in coping?
Allegra's brother Alessandro wrote years later in an NCLD publication how he felt about living with a sibling who needed extra attention. I never knew how he felt until then about his upbringing compared to Allegra's. Looking back, I should have sat down and told him early on what was going on with Allegra so he could be part of the process. I also would have known his feelings and what he was going through. This is especially important because siblings will most likely bear more responsibility for their brother or sister as their parents get older. A learning disability happens to the whole family. That's easy to forget when a child has problems that require a parent's full involvement.How do you explain your thoughts about parents acting as advocates for their children and about teaching children to be advocates for themselves?
I have very strong feelings about parents advocating for their child. No one can do that as well as the parent can. And if you don't do it, who will? Many parents, however, are unaware of their rights and those of their child. It's important for parents to know these rights and not be afraid to demand that their child receive the necessary services. As far as self-advocacy, my advice to Allegra was to be open about her disability: Go up to a person if you are in need of something, explain you have a learning disability, and you'll get help. Of course, a person has to use some discretion, as I describe in the book, such as in disclosure during a job interview. But a person's ability to live life fully depends on knowing and recognizing one's self, disability and all.You mention it is important that parents and others help children with LD to have a high sense of self-esteem. How does a parent go about ensuring this?
Allegra really grew through her ice skating. When she first began at the age of 10 or 11, she was frightened and overwhelmed. But after a time, she became more self-possessed, taking pride in her athletic accomplishments and basking in the attention of being in the center of that rink, dressed in her beautiful costume, knowing that all eyes would be on her as she glided across the ice. When I found that Allegra loved ice skating, I did everything to encourage her talent, and saw how her self-esteem grew. I also took Allegra to social events as she was growing up so she would learn how to get along in these settings. For many children with LD, social skills are difficult. Building self-esteem and appropriate social behavior are critical to a child's independence and future relationships.What are you particularly proud of regarding your own involvement with the National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD) and its successes?
When I started as the chairman at NCLD in 1989, it was a small organization with about five staff members, working in borrowed space, and involved in providing information and referrals and increasing public awareness about LD. Now, 14 years later, that staff has more than tripled, we have a Washington, D.C., policy office, a dynamic Web site reaching millions of people, and recognition that positions NCLD as the leading LD organization in the country. I'm proud that NCLD has grown in distinction so that it can provide the vital help that's needed for individuals with LD and those who care about them.Purchase a copy of Laughing Allegra: The Inspiring Story of a Mother's Struggle and Triumph Raising a Daughter with Learning Disabilities
today!About the authors of Laughing Allegra:Anne Ford served as Chairman of the Board of the National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD) from 1989 to 2001. During her term as Chair, Mrs. Ford led the reorganization and broad expansion of NCLD, including establishing a presence in Washington, D.C., and organizing educational summits on learning disabilities in several regions of the United States. She was appointed to the Department of Health and Human Services Commission on Childhood Disabilities, as the representative for learning disabilities and was a member of the New York State Board of Regents Select Committee on Disabilities.John-Richard Thompson is an award-winning playwright and novelist. His play Indigo Rat, set in Berlin, Germany, during World War II, ran for a year in New York City and received a MAC Award from the Manhattan Association of Cabarets and Clubs. His other plays include Rain House, Water Sheerie, Fruit Bat Safari Camp, and The Glass Bird. He currently lives in New York City. He is the co-author of Laughing Allegra.
