My child is struggling 
Now that my child has 
I let a few days go by and then I stopped by to see the teacher. I expressed to her how complex and frustrating language was for Danielle but that she had proven she could master the subject matter. The high level of reading material and accompanying papers were going to require some new strategies, but we would do whatever was necessary. As I stepped back, so did she and the thaw began.
Within a week she asked Danielle to meet with her after school. They met several times a month and the teacher broke the assignments into smaller pieces. She developed note cards that highlighted the characters with key words that placed them in context for Danielle. She shared with Danielle her frustrations when a student didn't try, and she shared her passion for literature which she believed wasn't measured by papers and tests.
Remarkably through the connection they formed and the strategies they developed, Danielle thrived in the class. She credited her teacher with her success but we all knew Danielle had had a real breakthrough in her education. She, at fifteen, finally saw how the connection with a teacher, the ability to develop learning strategies dependant on the course, and the proof that she could be successful in a very competitive class gave her renewed confidence.
Danielle took another more advanced English literature class with this teacher. At Danielle's final IEP meeting, this teacher patiently waited for her turn to give her feedback. When she spoke, she told us how she admired and loved Danielle for her intelligence and her determination. She spoke through tears and brought everyone else there right along with her. She said she believed that by finding the right combination to Danielle's learning we had seen her tremendous potential. She said she was grateful to Danielle and to me for not letting them fall short.
When someone cares about your child they earn a special place in your heart. When that person is a teacher, possessing knowledge and caring which result in lasting impact in your child's life, they are never forgotten. We know that the teachers who changed Danielle's life equally cherish their relationship with Danielle. We celebrate every single success. I wrote personal notes constantly to teachers to express our appreciation for their support. Whether it was an act of kindness or listening to our concerns, I let them know it made a difference.
By acknowledging the victories and all participants who share them, you demonstrate that through the good and the bad times your goal is to work with them to support your child's education. Being honorable and reasonable with both criticism and praise will go a long way towards your goal.
Reprinted with permission: Surviving Learning Disabilities Successfully: Sixteen Rules for Managing a Child's Learning Disabilities, "Rule #11: Celebrate Every Victory". Copyright 2007 Nancy E. Graves and Danielle E. Graves.
