It’s critical that you have the right professionals (e.g., educators, case workers, and others) supporting your child’s needs, but remember that you are your child’s best ally and advocate. Here are some tips for supporting your military child’s needs if he or she has a learning disability — at home, in school, and in the community at large.Your Child’s Social and Emotional Needs
While school and learning are important, don’t overlook your child’s social and emotional needs. Here are some tips to keep in mind:- Be mindful of how the military lifestyle may affect your child’s self-esteem and emotional state — for better or worse. Encourage him to tell you how he feels and address any problems, with professional help if necessary.
- Create a sense of social continuity for your child. Luckily, technology developments in recent years have made this easier than ever. Stay in touch with family members at a distance, as well as with friends from your previous neighborhoods. Help your child connect with them through phone calls, email, video chats, social networking sites, letters, and postcards.
- Encourage your child to make new friends when you move to a new location. Support his efforts by hosting play dates, meeting other parents, and joining community groups. When you’re living on base, it’s easier to meet others who understand the military lifestyle. If you’re not living on base, you may need to make an extra effort to help your child connect with new friends, especially if the school year is already underway.
Your Child’s School Experience and Learning
You have the power to be your child’s best advocate and help him succeed in school. Try these tips to help your child learn successfully at school – and in life:- Understand your child’s specific disability and how it affects him. For example, if he has a reading disability and needs audio books to help him read successfully, be sure his teachers are aware of this and make sure that those accommodations are part of your child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP).
- Partner with your child’s teacher by reaching out and opening the lines of communication. Share important information about your child, be open to the teacher’s feedback and ideas, and try to keep the relationship positive and constructive. Given that you’re likely to relocate every few years, it’s especially important to establish those parent-teacher-school connections as soon as possible.
- Recognize your child’s strengths and talents; help him develop them to offset his disability and also increase his self-esteem. For instance, a child who struggles with reading might be an amazing artist. Make sure he has opportunities to express himself through art at school, at home, or in another setting. A focus on strengths and talents will likely help your child to readjust more easily when he changes schools.
Make the Most of Every Move
The military lifestyle offers exciting opportunities with each new deployment, whether you relocate to a new state in the U.S. or abroad. Examples for you and your family to try:- Before you move, you and your family can learn about your future community. Tap into military and community resources for information, and also do some research on your own. Involve your child in this process by asking what he or she is most interested in knowing about your family’s new location.
- After you move, look for opportunities to learn about the history, culture, and natural environment of your new location.
- Share what you learn with family and friends across the miles. Send (or post online) postcards, photographs, video, and stories about your new locale.
- If you move to a different climate (e.g., from desert to snow country), explore new sports and activities that weren’t possible where you lived before.
Stay on Top of Special Education
Understanding special education laws in general, as well as how they apply to military families and your child in particular, can be daunting. Fortunately, there are many resources to help you accomplish this:- Stay informed about special education and how it impacts military families. Military Homefront offers free electronic newsletters devoted to issues like special needs.
- Become familiar with your special education rights and responsibilities, and learn about the similarities and differences between regular public schools and DoDEA schools.
- Set up a system to keep school information, contact information, and records organized and up-to-date. This is especially important as your child moves from one school to the next, whether in your current community, another state, or at an overseas location. Two resources to try:
- If you’re not already enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP), consider signing up. Learn more about the special supports they make available to you.
- Request a Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) case manager to help you navigate the educational system and advocate for your child. It can be tough to do this on your own, and a “partner”/insider may prove quite helpful.
- Locate resources you can access in a way that’s convenient and comfortable for you. If you have limited Internet access, request telephone numbers, printed materials, or one-on-one meetings.
- Partner with your child’s teachers early on, and stay in close touch with them. Make sure teachers’ input is well-documented and that this record is transferred to your child’s future school(s).
- Be an active participant at your child’s IEP meetings. Consider asking your DoDEA case manager to attend with you if you’re concerned about an upcoming transfer to another school.
In Your Corner: Exceptional Family Member Program
The Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) exists to support military families with special needs and ensure their needs are met. Enrollment is mandatory and required immediately upon identification of a special need. Unfortunately, far fewer family members who are eligible are currently enrolled in this valuable program. (Source: NDAA 2010 Conference report)Plan Ahead but Go with the Flow
Be proactive about your child’s education and plan ahead, but be flexible. If there’s one thing a military parent knows well, it pays to have a contingency plan!Additional Resources
- Military Community Directory Special Needs Contacts
- DoD Resource Locator
- Specialized Training of Military Parents (STOMP)
Kristin Stanberry is a writer and editor specializing in parenting, education, and consumer health/wellness issues. Her areas of expertise include learning disabilities and AD/HD, topics which she wrote about extensively for Schwab Learning and GreatSchools.This article was made possible by a grant from Oak Foundation.
