My child is struggling 
Now that my child has 
It is strongly recommended that parents organize their child's school records in a binder to ensure they have it all in one central location. Include the following sections in your binder:
- Medical/diagnostic information
- Educational plans (Individual Education Program (IEP) or 504 accommodation plan)
- Report cards
- Educational assessments and State testing results
- Communication log and copies of all emails
- Requests for services
- Assessments
- Meetings
- Teacher notes (positive and negative)
- Any other written documents pertaining to your child's education
- Work samples
Example: You have found that by clarifying all conversations in writing, as well as keeping copies of all written communications, you are able to eliminate forgotten conversations or he-said/she-said situations. This is particularly helpful when you have to advocate for your child during a time of stress or conflict.
Skill 4: Learn to Work Collaboratively with Your Child's School.
Remember to focus on the positives. It is vital to recognize efforts of individuals and provide support, encouragement, and recognition of the difficulties involved in working with your child. Teachers and school personnel are human beings with their own personal lives. As parents, we may at times become so focused on our child's needs that we unintentionally present ourselves as insensitive or demanding. This can create barriers to communication.As your child's primary advocate, you must refrain from making personal comments or attacks toward the school or any school personnel. When a staff member has acted inappropriately or insensitively towards your child or yourself, put your concern in writing. Address it to the individual involved, with a copy going to the district office. Share your point of view, as well as your suggestions for remedying the situation.
When a staff member has acted kindly towards your child, it's equally important to put your compliments in writing. Send a note to the individual, with a copy to the district office. Research clearly shows that all humans like to be appreciated and respond to positive reinforcement.
Example: Over the years, you have found that making the extra effort to work collaboratively with the school and school administration has paid off. When your child is faced with a difficult teacher, or when a member of his child study team is not working in his best interest, you are able to voice your concerns and have them heard and addressed as valid rather than being pushed to the side as complaints from a pushy parent.
Skill 5: Learn to Be In Charge of Your Emotions.
As Kenny Rogers says, "know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em." As parents, we need to learn to step back and bring in others to help us when we are having difficulty with our child's school. Oftentimes, our natural reaction is to push harder and scream louder, thinking that the school will then do what we want. Unfortunately, more often than not, what occurs then is a "battle of wills," with both parties expending emotional energy to be right. They may lose focus on the real issue — a child's success in life and school. It is vital, as a parent advocate, that you learn how to step back, reflect, rally your troops, and encourage others to think outside the box, be creative, and find common ground. Compromise does not mean one is "giving in" or losing. It means meeting one another half-way.Example: Your son is gifted in the area of science, and his educational team recommended that he take Advanced Placement Biology in tenth grade. When the teachers made this recommendation, your first response was to stand up and scream, "Are you kidding me? No way! It will be too hard for him, require too much time, and our entire existence will be homework." Instead, you took a deep breath, paused, and said, "WOW! That is a really wonderful opportunity, but I am concerned about how much writing and reading will be required with an AP course."
Together, you were able to discuss his learning needs and develop some strategies and supports that you are happy to say have allowed him to participate in an AP Biology class. It has done wonders for his self-esteem! If you had allowed your fears of his failing to control the meeting, you would have missed out on watching his excitement, this year, learning about proteins and biogenetics!
