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Realistic Goals
The whole point of a goal is to get results. Think about what will happen when your child reaches a goal. And offer rewards for each goal and mini-goal that your child accomplishes.Your child won't get results, though, if the goal isn't realistic. As a parent, you certainly want to reinforce persistence and resilience – you want your child to know that working hard is a big piece of reaching goals. However, what if your child wants to move from getting a C in English to an A within one month? Will there even be enough assignments to make this possible? A first step might be to talk with the teacher to find out.
Or, what if your child has set a goal of becoming a physician but has faired poorly with science courses throughout high school? Don't kill the passion, but also don't enable a dead-end pursuit. Perhaps you can help reframe this long-term goal into a Plan B, a plan that helps your child pursue interests in a more realistic way. Ask what it is about being a doctor that attracts him. If it's working in a hospital, maybe you can encourage a career as an x-ray technician instead of a radiologist. Then help develop short-term and intermediate goals that move your child closer to this reframed long-term goal. One day, your child may find that this hospital job brings great satisfaction.
Time-Bound Goals
Goals must have starting and ending points. They should last for a fixed length of time. Commitment to deadlines helps your child to focus his or her efforts on completion of the goal on or before the due date. Without deadlines or schedules, goals tend to be taken over by day-to-day demands.Chris Schnieders, Ph.D., director of teacher training at the Frostig School provides the common example of the book report to illustrate how time enters into goal setting. At her middle school, everyone does one book report, which is due at the end of the month.
"On the first day of the month, the kids get a book and look at the calendar," she says, explaining how the goal planning unfolds. One step of planning involves figuring out how many days are needed to complete the report so the students will have enough time to do this after reading the book. "With the remaining days, they then figure out how many chapters there are and do a division problem to see how many they will need to read each week." After figuring out the average pages they need to read each day, they look at the weekly calendar. "If they've got music lessons on Tuesday and soccer on Wednesday, maybe they'll need to read more pages on other days of the week. How many extra will that be?" All these steps go into the child's planner, which the parent can double check.
This methodical approach to goal setting serves kids well throughout middle and high school and into college and beyond.
You can greatly support your child in becoming a consistent goal setter. It's a great way to enhance your child's chances of success. And, if you're not already someone who sets goals, why not join your child in developing this new skill? There's no telling where the two of you will end up.
Sources
1 SMART Goal Setting: A Surefire Way To Achieve Your Goals2 Project Smart: 8 Strategies for Achieving SMART Goals
Annie Stuart is a freelance writer and editor with nearly 25 years of experience. She specializes in consumer health, parenting, and learning disabilities, among other areas.
This article is made possible by a grant from the American Legion Child Welfare Foundation.
Additional Resources
Patterns of Change and Predictors of Success in Individuals with Learning DisabilitiesPredictors of Success in Individuals with Learning Disabilities
The Implications of Success Attribute Research for Kids With Learning Disabilities
Goal Setting for Children with Learning Disabilities: Your Role is Important
