My child is struggling 
Now that my child has 
"I often tell parents 'If you want to teach your kid how to eat in a restaurant, don't set up a faux restaurant in your kitchen to rehearse these skills...take him to a restaurant. If you want to teach him how to stand in a line properly...take him to the bank.'"
"I encourage teachers to teach the FOUR R's: Reading, 'Riting, 'Rithmetic...and relationships," Lavoie writes. Here is a summary of his advice for teachers:
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Treat students with LD with respect.
"It is always effective for teachers to show particular approval and acceptance of kids who are rejected by the other students. The teacher's acceptance of that child often results in greater acceptance by his classmates." -
Stop the bullying and teasing.
"Although 'zero tolerance anti-bullying policies' are generally ineffective, teachers must be intolerant of bullying (verbal or physical). The teasing will not stop until the adults in the situation take definitive action. We cannot continue to view teasing as a rite of passage." -
Offer direct advice.
When you notice that a child with LD is having social difficulties, see if you can't help her practice social skills, make a friend, or develop a solution to the problem. A student who is happy on a social level will be more receptive to learning. -
Learn more about social difficulties associated with LD.
Read books, watch videos, and talk with other teachers and professionals for ideas on how to address evolving social challenges. Find out if your school or district has invested - or is willing to invest - in professional development in this area.
Lavoie believes that schools "need to be willing and able to deal with 'the whole child' and work to foster all areas of his development...academic, cognitive and social."
He also points out that including students with LD in classes with non-disabled students will not inherently lead to improved social skills. These students need more than positive role models -- they need "a concentrated, well-planned approach to improve their social competence." It is a school's responsibility, Lavoie believes, to "invest significant time and resources in training staff in social skills training."
The Natural Social Laboratory
Although there are many ways that adults can help children develop more competent social skills, there is only so much that can be done. Ultimately, the child needs to learn through trial and error in everyday life.
"Even the most loving and attentive family cannot meet all of her social needs or teach her all the necessary social skills," Lavoie writes to one parent. "There are some skills that can only be learned in the rough-and-tumble interaction between and among peers!"
Richard Lavoie encourages parents to allow unstructured time for their children to simply "hang out" and interact with peers in positive ways. Playing a traditional board game like Monopoly or Clue, for example, provides a natural social laboratory where kids can learn important skills -- such as sharing, waiting your turn, following the rules, and winning graciously.
Richard Lavoie, M.A., M.Ed. has served as an administrator of residential programs for children with special needs since 1972. He holds three degrees in Special Education and has served as an adjunct professor or visiting lecturer at numerous universities including Syracuse, Harvard, Gallaudet, Manhattanville College, University of Alabama and Georgetown.
