Reaching for Resilience

In earlier columns, I have written about the social-emotional side of learning disabilities, and drew attention to some characteristics and behaviors, also called success attributes, that have been shown to be important (even predictive) of success. As the summer months approach, I'm sure that you are thinking about ways to ensure that your child's time away from the classroom is restful yet productive. I'm also sure that you are hopeful that summer activities, and the inevitable distancing from a focus on the 3 Rs (reading, writing and 'rithmetic), do not undermine the progress your child made during the past school year. I'd like to offer another important ingredient to consider, namely "resilience," that can guide your summertime thinking and planning, and help to ensure that your child is re-energized and well-prepared for the demands of school (or work, or both) in the fall.

Let's face it school can sometimes be a stressful and tension-filled place. For students with learning disabilities, the demands of listing and taking notes in class, completing homework assignment and projects on time, meeting with teachers for extra support, and staying connected socially to peers in and out of school can be, in a word, exhausting! And that's why building resilience is so important.

Search for a dictionary definition of resilience and you might find "the capacity of a strained body to recover after a period of stress," "the ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune" or "the process of persisting in the face of adversity." In reflecting on the challenges faced by students with LD, it's easy to see how the concept of resilience would apply to their everyday experiences. Dealing with uncertainty of academic status, worrying about grades and the ability to keep up with peers, measuring progress against others who seem to accomplish work with seemingly little effort ... these are just a few reasons to justify working to boost resiliency during the summer months.

By helping children to become more resilient, the goal is not to have them deny the reality of their struggles but rather to recognize their areas of special need and to help them gain insight into their talents and inner strengths. Knowing how to face up to and answer tough questions, connect with people in ways that are helpful, and deal with frustration with creativity, imagination and even humor are all ways that we can help children with LD to become more independent and enjoy success in school and in the community.

The following is a list of Web sites and materials that offer information about resilience and some fun and practical ways to engage your child in helpful activities during the summer months. Note: Dr. Robert Brooks (a former member of NCLD's Professional Advisory Board) has written extensively about the issue of resilience and about the impact having LD can have on social-emotional adjustment and family functioning, particularly during adolescence and the early adult years.

Additional Resources

• Project Resilience
  Project Resilience is a private organization based in Washington, DC. that offers teaching materials and products, provides training and disseminates information for professionals working in education, treatment, and prevention, and promotes a strengths-based approach to both youth and adults struggling to overcome hardship.

• The Power of Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence, and Personal Strength in Your Life, 2004, Contemporary Books.

  Dr. Robert Brooks and Dr. Sam Goldstein. Brooks' and Goldstein's book offers these ten guideposts to help children develop the strength and skills to cope successfully with the stresses and challenges they face:
  
  • Be empathetic. See the world through your child's eyes.
  • Communicate with respect. Don't interrupt, or put them down. Answer their questions.
  • Be flexible. If we want kids to be flexible we must model that behavior.
  • Give undivided attention. Children feel loved when we spend one on one time with them.
  • Accept your children for who they are. When children feel appreciated for who they are, they'll feel more secure reaching out to others and learning how to solve problems.
  • Give children a chance to contribute. When we enlist children in helping others, we communicate our faith in their ability to handle a variety of tasks and give them a sense of responsibility.
  • Treat mistakes as learning experiences. Children whose parents over-react to mistakes tend to avoid taking risks and end up blaming others for their problems.
  • Stress your children's strengths. Their sense of accomplishment and pride gives them the confidence to persevere the next time they face a challenge.
  • Let your children solve problems and make decisions. Instead of always telling children what to do encourage them to come up with solutions to problems.
  • Discipline to teach. Do not discipline in a way that intimidates or humiliates your child.

• Questions and Answers about Resilience

  This article includes questions asked to Dr. Brookes by Newsweek about fostering resilience in children.

• Are You a Parent Possessing a Mindset to Foster Resilience in Your Children?

  This quick quiz on resilience for parents and other caregivers will help them assess whether they possess a mindset that fosters resilience in children.

• Fostering Motivation, Hope, and Resilience in Children with Learning Disorders

  Read this article about resilience by Dr. Brookes from the Annals of Dyslexia. (Click through for help locating the article online or in a local library.)

---

Sheldon H. Horowitz, Ed.D. is the Director of LD Resources & Essential Information at the National Center for Learning Disabilities.