My child is struggling 
Now that my child has 
In Chapter 13, the authors address several ways parents can assist children with disabilities improve their self esteem. Most children with special education needs find academics frustrating and difficult, but the authors emphasize that academic performance is only one part of how a child's self worth can be developed:
The Three Competencies
| Academic Competence | Physical Competence | Social Competence |
Self Concept
Figure 17.1 The Three Competencies of Self Concept
In addition to the evolution of the self concept based upon our growing understanding and increased perceptions of ourselves and the world around us, our self concept is also influenced by our perceptions of self-competence in three specific areas. cognitive (Academic/ School/ Career), physical (Athletic/ Artistic) and social (Peer Groups) domains. (p. 162).
Self Esteem based on Cognitive/ Achievement Performance
Children can measure their success relative to their peers in a number of different areas. For children in special education, learning and achievement can be two areas that cause significant frustration and challenge. These children may work very hard to master tasks, but their efforts may not result in "success" for a number of reasons, such as poor memory, processing problems or difficulties in problem solving. Some children may feel "dumb" and may begin to avoid academic work because of the frustration and their lack of success. For many children, small group work centers or resource room assistance can provide a safer environment and slower pace to allow them to attempt and acquire new skills.
Children should always be praised for their effort and tasks should be presented at levels that are not too challenging or too easy. Challenges that are too steep will serve to frustrate the child and may result in developing feelings of "helplessness" regarding future efforts to master tasks. Tasks that are too easy can provide a sense of false competence and not prepare the child for taking on greater challenges. Breaking down complex tasks in to smaller segments can assist the child to master more difficult tasks in stages that build on earlier successes.(p. 163)
Self Esteem based on Physical Competencies
Did you know?
When children are having academic difficulties, many parents feel that the first thing to go should be the extracurricular activities. They reason thatSince Johnny is failing his spelling tests, then he should lose the privilege of playing on the baseball team. However, for many children not passing spelling tests may be a very legitimate result of their learning disability. For these children, athletics may be the only area in which they are capable of excelling. If these children lose these activities, they also lose the opportunity of feeling successful compared to their peers.
While competence in academic areas might be evaluated by our actual achievement in certain subject areas, our competence in physical pursuits may be a function of our athletic abilities or fine motor (artistic) skills. These different areas of mastery can assist a child in finding an area, other than academics, that they can excel in and increase their self concept. As was noted in the text box example, often parents will remove children from extracurricular activities as a result of their lack of academic success. However, children who are receiving special education assistance have been determined eligible for special services because of a legitimate learning problem that falls within one of the major categories recognized by IDEA. For these children, developing a healthy self-concept will require stretching outside the academic system to include activities that can increase self confidence and feelings of success. Parents should look for opportunities in the community for their child to become involved in activities that might contribute to the development of potential competencies and skills in such areas as: sports, art, dance, theatre, music, agricultural or horticultural groups, gymnastics, baton, and so on.
Having suggested the need to expand rather than restrict extracurricular activities for children in special education, it is important to realize there is a limit to the amount of extracurricular activities that should be scheduled. Recently there has been an increased recognition that some parents "overschedule" their children in too many activities, which can increase stress for many family members. We are not advocating this by any means; we simply what to impress upon you that extracurricular activities are an important component in building self esteem for children in special education. (164).
In this chapter, the authors also outline several Goals for Building Self Esteem in Children, and include practical guidelines for doing so, for the following goals: Provide emotional support; Increase social competency; Provide opportunities for mastering tasks and challenges; Provide opportunities for developing skills in emotion regulation, and Celebrate success.
Finally, the authors also provide parents with helpful samples of IEP forms, contact information for a host of resources and a dictionary of meanings for countless acronyms, or short-forms, used in education.
